backwards. forwards.

7 weeks post surgery. Long long weeks. I seem to make good progress of getting back into shape and then I slide back into disappointment. It's harder than I thought to go through mental and physical changers alone. Of course, I feel the energy of few close friends and my immediate family, but bottom line I am here alone and only I can change my way of thinking, acting, reacting and evolving

At this point, physically I am getting back to gym 2-3 days/week for stair climbing, core and upper body session. I ride to the gym 5 miles there/5 back. Saddle road continues to kick my ass with the steep inclines and rolling hills. It's a challenge just to get to the gym some days. Other days, I am walking 3 miles and add light biking or a 2-3 mile run at the end of the day. I found out that running first thing in the morning is very painful because my body is super stiff. On weekends or sometimes during the week if I feel up to it I climb some mountains by my house, usually Keolu hills.

Mentally, I am still sorting through the "trash" in my mind. I have to say, I am proud of myself for really focusing and tuning out the "noise". I have settled on no tv, haven't gone out to a bar really since Chicago ( 7 long months ago!), picked up some books to read at library and continue to do research for going back to school. In fact, I applied to start taking pre req to grad school courses at local community college.

Yes, sometimes it feels that all I am doing is backtracking through my memories, reliving my mistakes over and over, but I am learning and training and it takes practice to become good at anything. I should know this :)