My midterm exam- Chicago Lakefront 50k April 4,2009

First of all, I was not planning to race, but that idea went out of the window once the gun went off. I was feeling all kinds of queezy and stomach was rumbling. I guess I have forgotten that It was only a "training run" as soon as I realized there were people running in front of me. God forbid! My ego was pounding louder and louder inside my chest and I started to slowly turn into an asshole competitive runner once again. I must have forgotten the stress fracture completely. Only 3 months ago, I was still limping around while walking. Mind works in mysterious ways.

My first pacer and good friend (and yes, I am special because I had sooo much support!) David Berg from the Fleet Feet team, was trying to keep me at 8 min/mile pace, but that did not work entirely. I have a very strong character and David is very gentile and nice with me ( not like Holly, who was yelling "SLOW DOWN" at me). So we went out way faster than 8. Were running under 7:45s for sure til mile 5. Course was EXTREMELY counfusing to me. The course map was not on the website and since I ran this race 2 years ago I assumed it was the same lay out!! Little did I know. It was not. Moreover, there were no mile markers, no volunteers along the course (aside from aid stations) and the only indication of direction we had were the occasional spray paint arrows on the gravel. GREAT!! I knew that it's a crowded path ( Cara runs there, also there was a 5k going on and an early 50k start) but I was not aware of the change of the course at all.

Once my pacer David could not keep up the pace I was pushing ( 7:30s) at that point, I took off right at 5.5 miles and starting busting my ass, because I was running without the garmin and thought we were running a 9m/mile pace which we obviously were not!! So I took off running a 7mmile pace most likely ( just my guess)? And ran as fast as I could to the finish line ( or at least where I thought the finish line was). I was not sure if the course was out and back or not, so I stayed on the path looking for arrows.

The lead guys were so far in front of me I lost sight of them. The rest of the pack was way far behind me... I kept running and suddenly saw the lead guys on the other side of the golf course!!!!!!!!!!! I paniced. My hands started to shake. I thought maybe I should turn around but at that point I already ran a mile along the path and there was no turning back. I ran through grass like a dillussional lunatic til I hit the harbor around Montrose and continued on the "right" path. Holly was waiting me at the turn around point to start loop 2 and I was dillusionally thinking I was running extremely slow this whole time, when I came to find out that I was 5 minutes ahead of time! The lead guys were stunned to see me at the turn around point. There was nothing I could do. I knew I was about 5 minutes ahead by default, because I took a wrong turn.

I continued to run, still shaking and Holly (teammate and friend) supporting me the whole 21 miles. She was amazing. So was Christina who joined us at loop 3. We ran a steady (ish) pace. I didn't. They did. ha ha ha. So I was kept on track at about 7:50 pace for last 21 miles. I insisted on adding another 2 minutes of running at the end of loop 3 but I knew that would not be enough. I finished few minutes ahead of 2nd woman, but my time should have been at least 4 hours not 3:57. At least. Alas, I have no proof. I emailed race director and told him that after I got my splits off of garmin from Holly, the time of my finish was wrong so I would like to correct it or just take my name off the race completly. It blows. It hurts. I am still on verge of tears. This is the fastest I ran a 50k EVER without even racing it. I did not do my best, because that was not the plan, however I am upset that course was badly marked, without proper staff and mile markers.
I threw the race. I took my name off. I was an invisible runner who made a couple of stupid mistakes.

Lessons I learned during my "midterm" ultra:
- Ego will get me hurt, confuse me and prevent me from finishing the 50 miler. Chasing after the lead during an ultra is simply stupid and unrealistic. Running *my* pace, however, will put me at exactly where I need to be.
- Running way faster than planned especially during the first part of the run is simply running on "emotions" and adrenaline. It's stupid running. Not strategic. Leads to getting "lost" or running off course and burning the fuel early in the run. This will also lead to having nothing left towards the end of the run ( though, this does not apply to the 50k. I was whining about my neck but my legs were really fine. I had energy to kick it to the finish line too).
- Eating and drinking- very important! I have to admit I did a pretty damn good job at it, so kuddos to me for that . ( See, guys, I am not beating myself down completely here! haahahaha).
-Paying attention to course map ahead and not being overly confident about the course layout even if I ran the race before. The route can always be changed ( like it happened this year).
- Learning how to "obey" the pacers. They know best. So shut up and run the pace which was discussed prior to race/event. Do not burn out the pacer and outrun them!!
- My training plan this winter which consists of only 4 days of running/core and rest as cross/weight lifting/spinning/core days is working just great so far. ( Another positive note here).

In the end, I am overwhelemed by the support I receive from my Fleet Feet friends and my close friends and brother. In the end, it comes down to being a more attentive runner and stick to the plan, not to the emotions and extreme competitive character which I sadly possess. There will be a fall marathon this year. It will be good. I will race it even through a nose bleed and tears. If I stay smart, I will run it at 3 hours flat or under. If I train hard and stick to * my * plan, everything will fall into its place.
The road to recovery is happily over. Now the real work is ahead of me.
Ice Age 50.. I am ready for ya!